The love within me

Dear stranger,

It was the end of the day. I sat on my jacket, the tables hot to the touch. The breeze kissed my face. I took a sip of my drink, my eyes wondering. “It’s him, isn't it.” It wasn't a question. I blinked turning my head to meet Jess’s eyes and looked in confusion. “What?” 

She smiled. “You’re infatuated with him.” My head spun. “No, I-” 

  “Please, save me the lies.” She laughed. I didn’t. “I’m not in love with him,” I looked down at my drink. “Come on, I don’t blame you. He’s a babe.” I shake my head. “No, I wouldn’t dare. Not when you-” Her smile made me hold my tongue. 

  “I know you wouldn’t. I’m just messing.” She laughed. I didn’t. Jess’s eyes left mine to stare at him and I did the same. “I’m the one infatuated with him.” She muttered. I moved my eyes back to Jess. 

  Her. It was always her. From the moment she tripped over me in the hallway, it was her. The way her lips curl downward when she smiles, the ends of her hair that she always straightened because she hated the way they curled in, the freckles on her lips and eyelids, the beauty mark on her cheek, and that damn annoying laugh she did. The color of her eyes reminded me of a warm summer day. Everything about her is what I love. I love the fact that I didn't know everything about her because that meant there was more to learn. 

  One thing I knew for certain was that Jess was not in love with me like I was in love with her, and she never would be because Jess loved him, and I am not him. I can never be him. No matter how much I longed. And so, I will stay where I am, in my place, and watch. Watch her smile curl, her eyes light up and her laugh though it may not be with me, was more than enough.

-Blue