Doubt

Dear Stranger,

What made you start doubting yourself as a kid?

There are a lot of things that contributed to this but the big one is people in general. No matter how hard I tried to pretend like I didn’t care what people thought, it just wasn’t true. My dad would tell me, “You only care about what other people think.” and I would reply. “No, I don’t.” at the time, it was true. I didn’t care, but the more my dad told me that, the more things he said. The less confident I felt. I know he was just teasing, but it hurt as a little kid, you know? It felt like he didn’t believe in me like he thought I was like every other kid. Like I was a liar. I know it’s stupid, but I was just a kid still learning the ways of the world. I think my dad was a big part of me doubting myself, even today, and I’d like to think he’s just joking, but after time and time again of him seeing how much his words affect me, you’d think he’d stop, right? But he doesn’t. His excuse is I’m sensitive, and he says that like it’s something that’s bad, like it’s an insult, but I am sensitive when it comes to the people I care about.

-Blue